Lately it has been on my heart a lot to share with all the single ladies (and guys if they are reading or listening) why waiting on God’s best is worth it. I promised a blog post with more details on my journey and some helpful tips, so here we go!
I want to start off by first saying:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE SINGLE!
I am yelling at you out of love. Tough love. As your fellow sister in Christ embracing you with a warm hug and a little screaming But seriously I always thought something was wrong with me because I have been single for over 3 years now. Let me tell you my story quickly if you don’t know.
I actually got married at the young age of 19 back in 2007 to someone I knew for less than a year. He was military, our entire engagement he was deployed, and we rushed in to marriage. Needless to say we didn’t know each other well enough, we both had drinking problems, and we constantly fought. A couple of times he almost got abusive, so we tried counseling but that didn’t change anything. So I made the decision to leave. I remember thinking I was going to go to hell for getting divorced (being raised Catholic everything felt very condemning).
After that relationship, I jumped in to another serious relationship like literally the day I got divorced. It was with a guy I went to college with and he was a good guy. He was the most attractive guy I ever dated so I got motivated and that was actually one of my inspirations for losing 60 lbs. We stayed together 3 years and after I graduated college we just grew apart. Our goals and lives were so different and I didn’t see it working long term so I ended it.
Can I tell you that was the hardest decision I EVER made? I knew for so long it wasn’t right, but I stayed in it trying to force it work. Yes he was a nice guy and did nice things for me. He was a good person. But, he was not God’s best for me. I was just settling and I didn’t know myself or what I really wanted in life.
So after that was when I actually got back in to church (had not been since I was 14, went back at the age of 24 to a Christian church). I found God again and found myself. The first year was the hardest year ever. I cried many nights and felt so lonely. But, God just kept drawing me in to Him. So, I got focused on staying as busy as I could, started a business (my Beachbody coaching business), and volunteered at church to help people as much as I could.
Then I found my PASSION in life was being a coach, I quit my full time job at the college, and moved to Charlotte NC back in August 2013. I was doing things I never thought I was capable of doing being alone. Things that scared the crap out of me before. It was empowering! I was finding myself and grew so close to God.
All I have focused on these last 3 years is just God, my business, helping people, being healthy, and my loved ones. Yes of course I have nights where I feel lonely or wonder if I will ever find someone. Yes I have tried dating and have come across some bad situations and had bad experiences. My ex even came back in to my life a couple of times, one happened over the holidays. I thought it was meant to be and again was trying to force it to work and BOY WAS I WRONG!
I didn’t listen to what I knew God was telling me was right for me, which was NOT my ex and for me to not worry about dating but to just focus on Him. So I ended all of that craziness and again felt so renewed and empowered. After that I decided I would just again focus on God, my business, my health, helping people, and my loved ones. I truly didn’t feel ready to date anyway after going through that, I needed to find myself again.
Then all of a sudden BOOM! This absolutely AMAZING guy that I met at a business conference back in November came back in to my life. Like just out of nowhere we all of a sudden reconnected. I wasn’t focused on finding someone and didn’t feel like the timing was right, but I don’t care. Because to pass up this opportunity would be the dumbest thing EVER! This guy is literally everything I have ever prayed for, makes me a better person, makes me SO GIDDY and the happiest I have ever been, I could just keep going on. He is truly an amazing man of God that wants the same things in life that I do.
What is going to happen? Well I am pretty sure I know and so do my closest friends, but I will keep it to myself for now and share with you all as things progress
But the point I wanted to make with all of this is that if you just focus on GOD and becoming a better YOU, it will happen when you least expect it. I know people always say that and people always told me that and I kind of just wanted to be like “yeah whatever shut up.” But it is so true!
So here are some closing tips for you that have helped me and it is what I have done!
- If you want to attract a better mate, focus on becoming a better one yourself. Personal development books and conferences have radically changed my life. I highly recommend Dani Johnson and Tony Robbins.
- Don’t just look for what you can GET from a relationship, but focus on what you can GIVE.
- You have to love yourself and know yourself before you can completely love someone else, without any insecurities or jealousy or any of that mess.
- Stay focused on God and give it to Him, including the timing of when it happens.
- Stay busy and connected with your community, friends, and family.
- Help other people. When you are feeling down, I cannot tell you how much it perks you UP to go help someone else. So often we feel our situation is so terrible when there are people out there in MUCH worse situations.
I really hope this helps you guys! I know the struggle is real as a single person, but I am just so passionate about waiting on God’s best! You DESERVE the best! So don’t settle, love yourself, and hold out! Your time will come!
Please share this with anyone you know it may help! And don’t ever hesitate to email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you have questions or need advice.
Until next time, don’t forget to love yourself!